Lesliewifeofbath

So it's been a year and a half since I last turned in a chapter  Oh, my poor Molly Jones...

I would really like to finish the next few chapters and then end the series with an epilogue.  But I am not sure how that would work. I am not the same person that started the project... and it's been so long since I have written anything.  The question that I have been dreading to ask is can I still write?  Or worse, do I still want to?

I don't know. I have been bitching for a year about writers block...I've given myself tons of motivational speeches, but nothing really comes of it. I blame really good TV.  Or, I would if somehow my eyes were propped open, the remote was glued to my hand, and my ass was magically Velcro-ed to the chair. None of that is the case. 

And we can all blame situational instances and ups and downs in our personal relationships for a temporary pause in creativity, but neither of those explain a near constant state of inertia. I used to dread writing a chapter because I didn't know where it was going or I feared I didn't have the skill to write it, but now there is no fear. There is just...nothing.  

And I see it elsewhere too. It seems as though I am not the only person on dA that suffering from serious lack of motivation. (The format change seems a bit like a death knell. Like a once prominent business trying to avoid obscurity.) I don't know what happened. What was different five years ago? I keep trying to recapture the energy that I had in the years between 2011-2015 to no avail. 

“Most things will be okay eventually, but not everything will be. Sometimes you'll put up a good fight and lose. Sometimes you'll hold on really hard and realize there is no choice but to let go. Acceptance is a small, quiet room.” ― Cheryl Strayed

Welp, right now I am being a consumer rather than a creator. Also, deciding if my works are good enough to turn something else, though I have no idea of where I would begin with that. Not to offend any of her fans, but I'm not trying to follow E.L. James, or at least not her writing style--it's garbage (but exceedingly profitable). Jesus, the thought of that is painful. But I would like to do something profitable, that goes beyond the sheer joy of creating. 

Could I turn my works into something that goes beyond the fan-based? 

It's something I am seriously pondering.

Don't know what I am going to write yet. But it's coming. Going to try and add to the Molly Jones. Or at least write an ending chapter. 

Don't know what my next journey is yet. Might start writing something that isn't fan based. 

My first priority is to read all the fantastic entries at the Bards College Collaboration Competition. You can find them here: the-bards-college.deviantart.c…